Tuesday, May 6, 2008

God continues to blow my mind!

I just had to share a God moment with anyone who is interested. I have been feeling a burden for teaching children the meat of the Word of God. It is so rich with so many insights that we could never exhaust all God has desired to communicate to us.

I was raised in a small, conservative, community church here in Oregon. I grew up praying for parking spots and sometimes over a meal, but really didn't see God actively participating in my life until my mid 20s. It wasn't until after my 4th child was born in 2001 that I began to search for something more. I needed God to show me how strategically involved in His kids' lives he was. I needed to know He cared I was having an identity crisis (recently graduating from a MS program), operating as a Nurse Practitioner in the ED of a university hospital and changing more diapers than I would care to count. I felt stretched and torn between two jobs I loved dearly that required 100% of me. If I made a mistake in either arena, the cost was enormous. I couldn't give life or childhood back. I decided to take a break and be mom full time. My husband was going through his own set of growing pains that compounded my identity issues. Nurses are commonly co-dependant and I guess I signed up for that class without knowing it!

Jesus made a way for me to involve myself in women's bible study. I am very tender with the Lord. He can zero in to the dark places in my heart faster than a toddler focused on a candy dish. He began a process of revealing himself and healing my heart for which I will be eternally grateful and truly ties into this blog's name. I have received mercy for eternity. Over the years, as I have studied and found freedom in the Truth, expressed in the Word, and manifested in the Freedom of Christ, through His death and the power of the Spirit, I have been searching for ways to teach my children this same Truth. My heart is that they be spared some of the burdens I have carried for so long.

Our journey to home schooling was not about protecting, or taking a greater opportunity to infuse them with the Word. It was truly about watching our oldest, compliant child become disenchanted with learning in the 3rd grade. I had returned to work and we were doing a lot of parenting in the car; to and from private school, sports, play dates and parties. As they all came home in the fall of 2006, I was petrified! I was still working as an NP part-time and then taking on 4 different grade levels. God showed me a new meaning to His strength being made perfect in my weakness!

Inspite of the crazy schedule something amazing happened. He began to give me a vision for equipping the saints in the next generation. I truly think that my kids may not enjoy the same lifestyle my generation has been privy to (or distracted by). I have been sharing the content I study with them. I don't water it down, we worship and invite the presence of God and let Him take over. I have been amazed at how rivetted they are on the content. I can see the Spirit removing the scales from their eyes as they say, "Don't stop mom!!!" We have talked through how the voice of God feels in our hearts; condemnation vs conviction, and asking the Lord for discernment, as we wade through emotions that want to hear Him vs legitimate experiences with Him. COMPLEX!!! But they get it! As I have prayed about this I have felt the Lord has given me a picture of Moses and Joshua. Joshua gained so much by shadowing Moses and his growing relationship with God.

The last few weeks have been amazing. This ole conservative girl has been learning that the Spirit has a valid part in the Trinity. I don't claim to have it all figured out, but I am giving the Holy Spirit more license in my life as I agree to cooperate with Him as He carries out His role. As I learn this, I share it. A few weeks ago I asked the kids to go listen for the Lord to show them how He sees them. My kids each had a very unique experience with God. As we shared them, my oldest son had a word of knowledge about the younger son and what he was sharing while he was sharing it. Everyone was tearful about the awe of God. This past week I was relating what I was studying in Daniel. A study written by Beth Moore that I would count in my all time top 5 and highly recommend to male or female. We were discussing Satan's ploy of fear and our charge to stand firm (Chapter 10). The kids were eating it up. I am a baby in the gifts of the Spirit and believe I have been given a prayer language, but rarely pray out loud. I don't remember praying out loud in this language, but evidently I did. My oldest heard me, told me he asked the Lord for an interpretation, and then proceeded to tell me what he felt the Lord had laid on his heart in response. It was right on with what we were praying about!

I have instructed my kids that we must be discerning and write these things down. We must ask God to confirm them in our lives. We don't know our parents' voices right off the bat. We learn them. So God is teaching us His. I pray I learn it well. I pray my husband and I lead our kids in the way they should go. That we not look to the right or to the left but to the Word. Thank you for 'listening'. I would love to hear anyone's thoughts....

2 comments:

twinkle said...

That is an awesome testimony! I remember figuring out all on my own how important it was in my prayer life to practice listening TO God instead of just talking to Him. The Spirit of God can be grieved. Does that make you feel as sad as it makes me feel? So, I guess if the Spirit of God can be grieved, He can also be elated! I'm picturing that elated Holy Spirit around your family as all of you seek Christ in your daily walk. Your children are so blessed by what you are sharing with them.
And thank you so much for praying for me and my community. Things are better. They now say 15 tornadoes went through Georgia...one an EF3 rating. I know God protected my home. We were less than two miles from the only death in Georgia. If the tornado had not veered slightly north, it would have come straight to my house. I am thanking Him for sparing us.

Tanya said...

AMAZING!! You are such a blessing! I love how you are teaching your children to go to God and EXPECT HIm to answer!! You are teaching them how the Holy Spirit is very real and is how Jesus speaks to our hearts!! May Jesus continue to bless you dear friend and impart you with great knowledge and wisdom as He already has!! Blessings!!